After 12 video games, 35 books, 21 years and eight episodes of television, Master Chief did it: he had sex.
Finally, right? Like all Halo fans, from the first moment I stepped on Master Chief’s armor in Pillar of Autumn I’ve been thinking: this guy needs to get some. Yes, I was busy shooting aliens and driving a cool jeep, but it was always hard to enjoy the experience when such an obvious and crucial piece was missing. In the back of my head the question constantly reverberated: When would Master Chief have sex? What was the purpose of this video game if it didn’t culminate in the husky-voiced savior of humanity stripping off all his armor except his helmet and indulging, body and soul, in pure carnal lust?
And yet it never happened. Not in the sequel, or the next, or even a jazzy soundtrack that was clearly written for rainy, romantic nights. It’s no wonder the Halo series has always been extremely unpopular – they’ve somehow forgotten to put the sex on it. I kept buying them like some kind of sucker, certain the next one would be the one with the sex in it, but that never happened.
After two decades, the TV series Halo on Paramount+ has set things right. First, it gave us Master Chief without his helmet – boldly discarding the defining characteristic of his video game counterpart, a man who had his humanity robbed of him and was more of a machine than the AI that hovered in his head. Ha ha! Go away, subtext!
Then he showed us his ass, but not in a sexy way. Understandable: When you go without sex for 20 years, you have to work at it.
Now the moment long denied by fate has come. The first hours of the Halo TV series may have been light in the vibrations, but one episode from the season finale, it’s finally heavy on caresses. Master Chief had sex, on television. Not with his one true love, the AI Cortana, whose doomed romance with the Chief formed the narrative thread for six games. That would be silly. Would they have to be cyber or something, and how do you make that look good on TV? Not hot enough.
Then the Halo TV series added some twist: Master Chief would have sex and Cortana would watch. Unfortunately.
A powerful scene – one I unfortunately cannot embody as it should be experienced, but for just $4.99 a month, you can also witness the moment when Master Chief truly became Master Chief exclusively on Paramount Plus (fees and fees apply). ). Our years of agonizing wait are over.
I apologize for the spoiler, Halo fans. It’s just, you know, we’ve all been waiting for this for so long.